This is my 50th post! How lovely is it for it to be my last letter of 2013?
When I first started this blog, I didn’t think too deeply about it because I had a blog before. I used to have a blog on Xanga during high school (what happened to it? Do they charge now?) because many of my other friends used Xanga as well. It was interesting and fun to read about the events happening in my friends’ lives even though we would see each other Monday to Friday at school. I think this way because it’s vastly different when someone writes about their day than when they tell you about it. I think writing is just a wonderful outlet that brings out the honest feelings inside of us. It happens to me often when I try to retell something. I will end up downplaying the story because I don’t want to sound like I’m bragging. I end up making a joke about something that actually upset me. My message becomes lost or distorted.
Everybody has an image, it’s like their own brand or style. There are things that just don’t seem to “fit” with a person. For a long time, I don’t think people took me seriously. I understand that since I still act like a kid around my friends talking about how I love fairies. I don’t think I even took myself seriously. As a result, there were many things that didn’t “fit” me. Taking on a leadership role doesn’t “fit” me. Watching historical films about WWII doesn’t “fit” me. Having deep thoughts about life doesn’t “fit” me. Reading books doesn’t “fit” me. Being serious doesn’t “fit” me. I wonder how people see me sometimes. Do they just see me as some girl who is always happy and collects stuffed animals and nurse injured birds back to health (I don’t remember where this specifically comes from, but somehow this seems to “fit” me)?
I think there will always be times when everybody gets serious. No matter how carefree you are in terms of personality or how wonderfully life has treated you, we all have substance. We are deeper than storybook characters. We have so many dimensions and layers that it is impossible to completely capture “Me” into a single image or brand. I think it is important to remember that there are different sides to each person. Sometimes we only get to see one side of many. I believe writing allows us to be more honest to our readers and ourselves. Moreover, I believe writing allows me to show more shades of my own color. That is fundamentally, why I started this blog. I named it Sincerely Loewe because I simply wanted to pour out my sincere heart. On my old blog on Xanga, I focused too much on what my readers would think. I didn’t write for me. It was as if I was writing for the general public in hopes to conjure up the perfect identity for myself. I wanted my readers to think my friends were great, my parents were great, my life was great, and I was great.
As the 2013 Loewe, I want to remind myself that I am great. I may not always be great, but there is greatness inside of me. I can be a leader if I step up to the opportunity. I can hike a mountain if I take that first step. I can learn if I listen. I can teach if I speak. I can surprise people with sides of me if I do not hide them.
I can be great. I can be kind. And no one should be able to stop me.
“Promise me you’ll always remember: You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.”
– A.A. Milne