“I just need to work harder.”

September has turned me into a workaholic.

In addition to my full-time co-op, I also work part-time at an ECE center. Now that summer is over, my second part-time as a private tutor is also beginning to take off again. In total, my 3 jobs average to 48-49 hours a week.

I like my co-op a lot. The office and everyone in it are warm and I can confidently say that I’ve learned a lot about my own interests in communications and graphic design. I also like my ECE part-time. My coworker is hilarious and the children brighten up my day. Lastly, tutoring is something that I have grown fond of over time as I build relationships with my students and watch them learn.

I think in general, I like work in the same way I like school. If you put effort into it, you will be rewarded. What you put in is what you get. I am a big believer in things working out if you simply work hard and try your best. However, lately, I wonder if I should give myself a break.

My office job, ECE job, and tutoring does not require excessive amounts of physical labour, but I find myself exhausted the minute work ends. A striking increase in my caffeine consumption has also caused me to become nauseous and lose my appetite these past few weeks.

It seems like I am wielding a double-edged sword. Although I enjoy work and I do socialize with people at my work, I crave for more. Going out with friends exhausts me, but if I stay at home and rest I feel isolated. On both occasions I regret my decision.

I am aware I need to work on my current work-life balance. I know of other friends who also work multiple jobs and still seem to be standing upright and strong.

Work is not only what I enjoy, but also what I pride myself in. It is what I put all of my time and efforts into. If I do not work, I feel like I am wasting my time because I am not doing anything “productive”. I feel like I need to work harder.

I tell myself to keep going. I work hard. I see my efforts rewarded so I work even harder.

I wonder if I am burning myself out.

The best way to not feel hopeless is to get up and do something. Don’t wait for good things to happen to you. If you go out and make some good things happen, you will fill the world with hope, you will fill yourself with hope.
– Barack Obama

sincerelyloewe

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4 thoughts on ““I just need to work harder.”

  1. Nothing wrong with working hard, but your work doesn’t define you always, maybe redirecting time into an interest would help with the feeling of burnout. Best of luck in your work!

  2. It may help to map out your activities on a spreadsheet to help you gauge how your time is spent daily/weekly. Once we fill in the number of hours we need for sleep and mandatory hours for work, the challenge becomes how to fit in all we would like to do in the time remaining.

    Life is like an adventure game where we can only carry so many items. In this case there’s a limited amount of time in a day so we have to pick and choose how to spend it.

    Perhaps you can schedule friends activity on a Friday or Saturday which gives you a day to recover.

    1. Yea, it would be ideal if I can schedule everything perfectly since I am someone who needs to write everything down. Unfortunately planning gatherings with friends can get tricky as everyone has their own schedules and often they conflict.

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