“I am responsible for my own happiness.”

Today’s daily prompt: Second Thoughts

I think it’s natural to have second thoughts. You always wonder what-if.

What if I had chosen to go this way? What if I had said yes? Would things be better? Would I be happier?

I am someone who likes to have a clear idea of what is happening and what will happen. I walk myself through all of these second thoughts and what-ifs. It makes me feel like I am in control of my happiness, which is ultimately a philosophy of mine. I am responsible for my own happiness and if I am not happy, that’s because I have allowed myself to be so.

For example, I can always look at a situation positively or negatively. If I only focus on the negatives, then I probably won’t be happy. This doesn’t mean I can just ignore the negatives, sometimes I may want to focus on the negatives in order to change them into a positive. That’s an investment towards my own happiness.

Or another example, if someone makes me happy, I would choose to have them stay in my life. If someone makes me unhappy and I still decide to keep them in my life, then that is a disservice to me by me. It is no one’s responsibility but my own to make sure I am happy, and if I am not, then I am the one who has to do something about it. People can do and say all sorts of mean things, but if I didn’t care about them, none of it would matter. It’s because I’ve placed my trust or feelings into someone that I become unhappy from their actions, so in this way, I have allowed them to be an individual who has that power over me. Essentially, I have allowed them to make me unhappy, while trusting them that they won’t.

And so because I believe that my decisions determine my happiness, I have many second thoughts and even third or fourth thoughts about whether or not my choices are good for me in the long-term. Will this person help me grow into the person I want to become? If I take this job, will it give me the experience I need for my larger career goals? Am I respecting myself enough to walk away from opportunities and people who will not contribute to my well-being?

It’s hard to try to answer all these second thoughts because I will never know. Maybe that job will help me launch my career, maybe that person will make me a better person.

The only way I get rid of all these doubts is to remind myself again that I am responsible and capable of achieving my own happiness. Yes, maybe I will make the wrong choice and become unhappy as a result, but I can fix it. Yes, I will never know for sure about all the what-ifs, but I trust myself more than anyone else in this world.

There is no one who cares more about my happiness than me. I make my decisions with my best intentions, and if it doesn’t work out that way, then I will try to figure it out again. There’s no need to have second thoughts about it.

Sincerely, Loewe

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3 thoughts on ““I am responsible for my own happiness.”

  1. The recurring thought that pops into my head as I read this is, “What if your presence in someone else’s life doesn’t make you happy, but brings a great deal of happiness to theirs?” How much, if at all, would you compromise your own goals, ambitions, and networking opportunities in order to bring joy to another person?

    1. That’s actually a thought that has never entered my head, since I assume human beings are selfish and there must be some sort of mutual gain (although it can be very unbalanced) for both parties for any kind of relationship to work out.

      Applying this to a hypothetical situation: if this person’s joy gives you joy even though it compromises your own goals and ambitions, then that joy is in its own way, a gain for you. The only thing to put into consideration is how that gain compares to your other values.

To Loewe:

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