Today’s daily prompt: Second Thoughts
I think it’s natural to have second thoughts. You always wonder what-if.
What if I had chosen to go this way? What if I had said yes? Would things be better? Would I be happier?
I am someone who likes to have a clear idea of what is happening and what will happen. I walk myself through all of these second thoughts and what-ifs. It makes me feel like I am in control of my happiness, which is ultimately a philosophy of mine. I am responsible for my own happiness and if I am not happy, that’s because I have allowed myself to be so.
For example, I can always look at a situation positively or negatively. If I only focus on the negatives, then I probably won’t be happy. This doesn’t mean I can just ignore the negatives, sometimes I may want to focus on the negatives in order to change them into a positive. That’s an investment towards my own happiness.
Or another example, if someone makes me happy, I would choose to have them stay in my life. If someone makes me unhappy and I still decide to keep them in my life, then that is a disservice to me by me. It is no one’s responsibility but my own to make sure I am happy, and if I am not, then I am the one who has to do something about it. People can do and say all sorts of mean things, but if I didn’t care about them, none of it would matter. It’s because I’ve placed my trust or feelings into someone that I become unhappy from their actions, so in this way, I have allowed them to be an individual who has that power over me. Essentially, I have allowed them to make me unhappy, while trusting them that they won’t.
And so because I believe that my decisions determine my happiness, I have many second thoughts and even third or fourth thoughts about whether or not my choices are good for me in the long-term. Will this person help me grow into the person I want to become? If I take this job, will it give me the experience I need for my larger career goals? Am I respecting myself enough to walk away from opportunities and people who will not contribute to my well-being?
It’s hard to try to answer all these second thoughts because I will never know. Maybe that job will help me launch my career, maybe that person will make me a better person.
The only way I get rid of all these doubts is to remind myself again that I am responsible and capable of achieving my own happiness. Yes, maybe I will make the wrong choice and become unhappy as a result, but I can fix it. Yes, I will never know for sure about all the what-ifs, but I trust myself more than anyone else in this world.
There is no one who cares more about my happiness than me. I make my decisions with my best intentions, and if it doesn’t work out that way, then I will try to figure it out again. There’s no need to have second thoughts about it.