Thoughts: Moving out

Today’s daily prompt: Lofty

When I was a teenager, I dreamed about living by myself in a lofty apartment. My furniture would be white and gray with pink accents, and maybe I’ll have a badass husky living with me.

Nowadays, the thought of moving out is unappealing to me.

The most unappealing thing about moving out is the absence of my parents, which really defeats the whole point of moving out. The most important issue is that I will not be able to eat my mother’s food, which is more than often times 5x better than whatever food I order at a restaurant. No parents also means I have to clean the entire house by myself and do all the chores like taking out the garbage and the laundry.

On top of all this, living alone seems so lonely to me nowadays. I absolutely despise eating alone. A roommate or a significant other is a possible solution, but I doubt they would want the apartment to look exactly how I want it, which brings me to my next point: I have a very specific idea about what I want my place to look like.

If possible, I like to get things right the first time. It’s a pain to change stuff later so I might as well make it all exactly the way I want in the very beginning. I won’t be painting my walls after I move my furniture in. This means my walls will never be the color I want it to be. If I use old furniture (nothing technically wrong with that), I’ll never have the table or bed that I truly want.

If I commit to my own place, it means I am 1) not renting, and 2) purchasing an entire IKEA showroom set. In other words, I would be buying (almost) everything new except for the few pieces of things in my parent’s house that are my style. That is a lot of money that I do not have at the moment.

I have friends who have moved out now, and although I’m sure they are having a good time with this newfound independence, I realize I am not ready for it. If I really think about it, I have a lot of time to live away from my parents in the future, but the days I spend together with my family will only dwindle from now on. I already see it happening when my parents ask my sister and I if we are coming home for dinner – more and more we say no. I can feel it when I see my parents get excited when we talk about the road trips we embarked on in the past. I notice it when I go on a road trip and it’s my friend in the front seat driving instead of my father.

On nights when my sister and I do not return home for dinner, my mother jokingly tells my father to treat her better (because otherwise he’ll be eating alone). I think it makes all of us a little sad, but at the same time, my sister and I still increasingly spend time with our friends.

I think we all know that this is a part of growing up. My parents must have thought many times about the day my sister and I get our first boyfriends, our the day when we’ll get married or move out and stop spending time with them. It’s such a bittersweet feeling even for me. It makes me think that maybe it’s ok to not grow up so fast.

Sincerely, Loewe

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To Loewe:

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