“My heart is beating so fast right now.”

Today’s daily prompt: Percolate

This fall, I made the switch from coffee to tea.

My experience with coffee started when I had my first co-op back in 2014. My office offered free coffee so I had at least a cup of day, but prior to that, I was never a coffee drinker. I never pulled an all-nighter in university and I had plenty of rest before morning classes and exams.

Maybe that’s why my body is so sensitive to caffeine.

My first reactions to coffee were positive: I was even more awake, productive, and cheerful in the morning. As weeks went on, I began to rely on my cup of coffee in the morning to start my day.

A few months later, I started losing my appetite. I would feel nauseous if I ate. Through self-diagnosis and Google, I concluded that I drank too much coffee for my body. I decided to stop drinking it for awhile, only to find that I lacked so much energy in the morning that I had to drink some anyways.

Since then, I’ve been trying to find balance between coffee, tea, and adequate sleep. Both beverages are popular in Vancouver and the difference between how much I can drink versus one of my friends is so large that I tend to forget what my limit is.

For example, I drank a cup and a half of coffee at a brunch session with my friend last year. My friend drank two cups and was perfectly perky. I was trying to take advantage of the bottomless coffee offer. I remember this incident very clearly because for the rest of the day, I couldn’t eat.

I skipped lunch because I wasn’t hungry. I attended another friend’s birthday dinner that night held at a Japanese BBQ place and I could barely eat a single piece of meat (what a waste!). I was freaking out because I know I had already skipped lunch. If I skipped dinner as well, wouldn’t I pass out?

On top of it all, my heart was beating like crazy. I had tried to calm myself down multiple times (breathe in, breathe out) but I was still so jittery from my coffee intake earlier that day. By night time, I was dead inside, but I still had this energy inside of me that I couldn’t get rid of. It was like I was constantly excited about nothing – it was exhausting!

Accurate depiction of how I felt that day
Accurate depiction of how I felt that day

This incident serves as a haunting reminder of what happens when I have too much caffeine, although I don’t think many of you can relate. Hope you enjoyed my confusion and anxiety.

Sincerely, Loewe


To Loewe:

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