Thoughts: Childhood Anticipation

Today’s daily prompt: Anticipation

With Black Friday/Cyber Monday weekend, Christmas, and New Years all plummeting towards me, there are many things I am waiting in anticipation for. Days off! Big feasts! Presents! Parties!

But what I want to write about today regarding anticipation is not specifically about these upcoming holidays, but more about the feeling of anticipation, because it’s a feeling that is quite magical.

When I think of the feeling of anticipation, I think of little Loewe in her old bed in her old house. It is the night before something big and fun – a road trip to Disneyland or a spring break trip to Hong Kong. I try to think of boring things because I know tomorrow will be a long day, but I can’t sleep because I am too excited.

This is the magical feeling. My heart is beating fast, but my body is tired. My mind is buzzing about tomorrow and the day after and it’s fun to think about all the great things that are coming my way. You’re restless because you can’t get any rest, but the next thing you know, you wake up and it’s finally a new day – a day you were waiting for.

Just like how many things lose its magic as we get older – Christmas morning and Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, your birthday – this feeling of anticipation has lost some of its magic for me.

Even when I was planning my backpacking trip this summer, I didn’t feel too much of that magic. I was looking forward to it, of course, but I was also worried and a little stressed about the trip. I fell asleep normally the night before and woke up to get ready just like any other day.

It’s a feeling of dullness, almost. You wake up and you know it’s your birthday, but there’s nothing special about it anymore. Maybe you’ll go to a nice dinner tonight with some friends and family, maybe not. You remind yourself that tomorrow is Christmas so you get to sleep in and you do, all the way until noon. Then you spend the rest of your day on the computer wishing other people happy holidays.

When I think about Christmas or vacations, I don’t anticipate it in the ways I did when I was a kid. I still anticipate it, but I wonder when the magical tingly type of anticipation will return to me. Will it be when I have kids? When I see them race towards a Christmas tree and rip open wrapped boxes? When I wake them up and they get into the family van, half-asleep, and wake up to a different rolling scenery?

Can it come back to me before that?

Sincerely, Loewe


3 thoughts on “Thoughts: Childhood Anticipation

  1. I often wonder the same. When I was a child I would get excited about school trips to the park or beach. So excited that I couldn’t sleep. Now I don’t even get that for long-haul holidays. Christmas with a little child does leave me with excited anticipation though :-)

To Loewe:

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