Thoughts: Practical Superpowers

There are so many great superpowers out there – super strength, flying, mind-reading, and all the other stuff we see in movies (i.e. money can count, why not?) – but the superpowers I want the most aren’t usually your typical ones.

I want the practical superpowers that give you the little wins in life- superpowers that are actually, you know, useful? I don’t want to go around helping people or saving the world. I just want to make my life a little easier.

For example, here are some little superpowers I’ve always wanted. They are probably what you’ve always wanted too, you just didn’t realize until now:

  1. The power to make electronics obey you: “No need to contact IT, Mary. Once I walk into the room the printer will work properly again.”
  2. Real life CTRL F: Proving to myself that yes, I guess I didn’t leave it in the usual spot.
  3. Weather-reader (99% accuracy): I have a grounded belief that 100% is statistically impossible, but at least now I can decide what to wear in the morning a little faster.
  4. Never having to use the washroom: No health repercussions involved, of course. Girls don’t poop, right?
  5. Dream Controller: How about we don’t dream about zombies tonight, brain?
  6. Power of convenient timing: Never worry about missing a bus, not being able to find parking, being late, or having to miss out on that spontaneous event you wanted to go to.
  7. Font Hand writer: My bullet journal/hobonichi will look so beautiful with Lamar Pen and Avenir (these are fonts, people).
  8. Value detection (extrinsic & intrinsic): Don’t you try to scam me, this is worth $2. And hey, you sad kid over there, do you know that you have what it takes to be a prosecutor?
  9. Power to fall asleep instantly: Brain, how about we don’t think about 2006 when I wore blue eye-shadow? Also see #11.
  10. Stopping things from growing: like grass. Or my hair.
  11. Power to fully function with zero sleep: With no dark circles either. See #9.
  12. Power to charge an electronic with my finger: Electronic mostly as in my phone, which is attached to my finger usually anyways.
  13. Lyrical Memory: No need to mumble over the parts you don’t remember.
  14. Ability to learn choreography in 10 minutes: Now I can be a kpop star too!
  15. Disney Princess Montage: Okay so this isn’t actually useful per say, but how lovely would it be if we can all break out into perfect synchronized song and dance?
Pretty much me even if I had superpowers.
Pretty much me even if I had superpowers.

Can you think of any more?

Sincerely, Loewe

P.S. As a reply to this week’s discover challenge: Superpowers.

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7 thoughts on “Thoughts: Practical Superpowers

  1. I want real life ctrl+F so badly! XD I see that you’re also a KPOP fan, who do you listen to? :) My all-time favorite is BTS.

      1. Black Pink is nice. I like their song “playing with fire.” Other than BTS, I also like to listen to super junior, shinee, snsd, and f(x).

      2. Ahh, I used to listen to a lot of SM groups too, but then I realized I liked them as people, not really their music. Super Junior was actually the first group to get me into kpop!

      3. BTS got me into KPOP hardcore 😂 i just love SM’s artists. YG has some nice ones. JYP not so much. That’s just my opinion. I know everyone has a different viewpoint of those three.

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