I avoid writing about love or relationships. I write about other types of love like my family, friends, and self-love, but I don’t write about romantic love.
Why not? Because it’s very personal, which makes it kind of scary to share with the internet.
Oh, and also I don’t think anybody really cares.
You know what I mean. I’m sure you’ve seen all those dating photos on your social feeds – all those selfies with lyrics as a caption, snapchat videos of hand holding in the car, homemade meal instagram photos, all the lovey-dovey posts that scream, “Look how happy we are!”
I was one of those people who rolled their eyes and muttered, “Do they really need to do this to reassure themselves that they are happy together?” But now I’m one of them.
Why did I roll my eyes? I’m not sure. Is it because of excessive sharing? Individual bitterness? Or is “love” becoming a taboo topic in a sense that it doesn’t garner the same amount of genuine responses as a post about something else, like say your dog? (Okay, that’s not very fair… who doesn’t love dogs?)
If someone is constantly posting about his or her significant other (SO), we get bored of it. Sometimes, we even get bored of him or her! We wonder if they like anything else other than their SO. Don’t they have any hobbies? Any other friends? Any personal aspirations? Anything else that makes them happy?
Because that’s what people post about – things and people that make them happy. Generally speaking, we want to share fun things and a happy relationship gives us a lot of content to share, but sharing too much of it makes you look like you can’t be happy on your own.
Sometimes I wonder if it’s because I’ve spent all these years proving to myself that I am happy without being in a relationship that there is now a stigma associated with being in one. I don’t want people to think I live my life for my boyfriend or that he is the center of my world, although he is definitely a big part of it. I want people to remember me as an individual, as a person who has her own ambitions and interests separate from her SO.
The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.
― Ernest Hemingway, Men Without Women
But then I forget to tell myself that it’s also okay to be happy because of someone. It’s okay to talk for a really long time about someone I love. It’s okay to want to share a lot of cute photos together.
And it’s okay if people roll their eyes about it.