This month has been tough – it’s been difficult for a lot of people around me. People are ill, people are hurting, and there’s nothing anyone can really do except be there for each other. Perhaps that is the only shining light in this darkness that currently surrounds us.
So give me all your pain
And love will set you free
Give me all your shame
Put all your weight on me
And I’ll be the stone that you need me to be.
I’d like to believe that I am an optimistic person, but the reality is that I’m more pessimistic than most people think. Sometimes, morbid and depressing thoughts just enter my mind and instead of reacting with: Well it doesn’t have to be this way! or Look at the bright side! I just solemnly agree in silence.
What kind of thoughts are these? Well…
Last week, my coworker asked me for advice on how to explain death to a preschooler.
I believe that children are almost always smarter than we think, so there is no need to sugarcoat bad news. In fact, I would argue that it is better to be simple and honest about a serious topic, and to fully explain it so that it doesn’t cause any confusion or trauma.
But really what do I know? I don’t consider myself as a person who has had any close contact with death.
I avoid writing about love or relationships. I write about other types of love like my family, friends, and self-love, but I don’t write about romantic love.
Why not? Because it’s very personal, which makes it kind of scary to share with the internet.
Oh, and also I don’t think anybody really cares.
This month I’ve been pondering about jealousy, mostly because I noticed that I’ve been feeling jealous of others more frequently than before.
When do I feel jealous? I feel jealous of others when they tell me all the good things they have going on in their life right now. I’m jealous of others when they are happy and oh what a terrible realization that is because what kind of a friend – what kind of a decent human being – does that?
I’ve always told myself that beauty is just another arena of life that I can improve. I can work out for a better body, choose more flattering makeup and clothes, get braces or contacts, do my hair – I can do something about it.
But because I am vain, I struggle internally if I don’t think I look good even after I try. I don’t go out because I feel terrible, I feel terrible because I look terrible, and I think I look terrible probably because I am terrible- terribly vain.
There are so many great superpowers out there – super strength, flying, mind-reading, and all the other stuff we see in movies (i.e. money can count, why not?) – but the superpowers I want the most aren’t usually your typical ones.
I want the practical superpowers that give you the little wins in life- superpowers that are actually, you know, useful? I don’t want to go around helping people or saving the world. I just want to make my life a little easier.
Today’s daily prompt: Faded
Many things fade away – photographs, jeans, writings on desks and bathroom walls. Even things we want to be permanent like tattoos fade over time and it makes me wonder if anything can ever really be permanent.
Feelings can fade. People can fade. Good memories we want to keep can fade. We don’t necessarily forget these feelings, people, or memories, but they are definitely no longer as bright or vibrant as they used to be.
When I think of “fade”, when I try to describe this feeling, it just makes me sad.